apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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