I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just gargled with NyQuil
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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