Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
