YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
