i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
