Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
