At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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