yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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