I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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