well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize