YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
