i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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