Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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