I wish I could teleport
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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