Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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