Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
