they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
