Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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