i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
