dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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