I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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