This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
