Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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