I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
