So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
