I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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