...so i touched it.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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