I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
