do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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