I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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