The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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