You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
they need to just BURY HIM!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
