I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
