why didn't you poke me back
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
