His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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