We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
