He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I met the friendliest cop last night
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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