Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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