The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
