My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
