i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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