This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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