Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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