Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
