i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
two words...techno handjob
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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