I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
