I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
