He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
