Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
