I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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