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Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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