You're so nebulous sometimes
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You made out with two different species that night
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
